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Love Thy Members

1/12/2022

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Do you feel appreciated as a pastor? 

Pastor Appreciation month comes and goes. Some pastors receive cards, text messages, gift cards, or an epic church potluck dinner. They feel appreciated and motivated to care well for God’s flock.

Other pastors? Maybe some pastors feel like their congregation participated in “Forget About Your Pastor” month. There was no celebration in the fellowship hall, no handwritten card, not even a simple “Thank you”. The thankless days pile up and the desire to persist in ministry plummets. 

Whether you’re a pastor that feels appreciated or a pastor that experienced another thankless month, I want to rally you together for a week of “Love Thy Members Week”. 

Why should Pastors love their members during the good times and the difficult times? Here are three of the many reasons why God has summoned us to love His people:

  • Members Belong to God - Stepping stones are used to create a pathway to an intended destination. The members of your church are not stepping stones for a larger ministry destination. They are the bride of Christ who are bought by the precious blood of the Lamb. So brothers, reflect on the value of those in your congregation and then go in the Name of Jesus and care well for their soul. 

  • Members Are Doing The Work of the Ministry - Whether it’s leading a group overseas, surrendering to full-time ministry, leading community outreach events, and more, pastors have grand visions for the people of God. Having a grand vision for the people of God is healthy and Biblical (Ephesians 4:13-18). 

    However, love your members where they are, not where you want them to be. If you only love the grand vision you have for the people of God, you will miss the work God is currently doing through them.

    Do you have a member that cuts the grass on the church property? Do you have a member that prays daily for their family? Do you have a deacon that faithfully teaches a Sunday School class? Publicly rejoice over the work God is already doing in their lives and privately surrender your plans to the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. 

  • Members Are Tired - I understand the exhaustion you are currently experiencing. For more on facing exhaustion in ministry, read this post. Yet, Paul said in Acts 20:28, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock.” As you pay careful attention to yourself, remember that the members of the flock God has called you to serve are also exhausted. The changes forced upon from the pandemic have been a strain on everyone. Care well for your own soul, and from the overflow of your self-care, go and care well for the tired members in your congregation. 

During the first week of February 2022 (January 30-February 5, 2022), we will post creative ideas and provide resources for you to love your members well. 

So follow our social media channels and go - love thy members well for the glory of God!
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How To Create An Ideal Weekly Calendar In Ministry

8/11/2021

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"I have a million things to do today!" 

For those who serve in ministry, the daily responsibilities of ministry can be demanding, but do pastors really have "a million things to do"? Although pastoral obligations are many, a million things to do is quite the exaggeration. As the pressure of ministry and family life increases from week to week, the temptation is to squander the time God has given you. 

However, what's not an exaggeration is an ideal weekly calendar. The ideal weekly ministry is managing your energy, prioritizing your time with God, loving your family well, and the important tasks on your pastoral to-do list. The ideal weekly ministry calendar begins first by recognizing God's authority over your daily life and resting in His strength. 

You can create an ideal weekly calendar in ministry and I want to give you a step by step plan. 

  1. Prayer - Fellow pastor, begin with prayer. If you do not plan your time in prayer, your time in prayer will never appear on your weekly calendar. Before you schedule the Deacon’s Meeting, your doctor’s appointment, or the tire rotation, intentionally plan at least thirty minutes in prayer each day. 
  2. Day(s) off - The last time I checked, you are not God. You are not Omnipotent, Omnipresent, or Omniscient. God is God and you are His creation. Depend on Him. Love your wife and children well. When you take a day off - God receives the glory. 
  3. Sermon Preparation - What part of the day are you most alert and think more clearly? Schedule that part of the day for sermon preparation. Are you more alert in the evening? Then schedule evenings for sermon preparation and mornings for family/wife time. Is your motto “The early bird gets the worm?” Then block off your morning for sermon preparation and leave afternoons for appointments and evenings for family. Give God your best as you prepare to deliver Good News to those God has called you to lead. 
  4. Member Care - When have you last called to check on Mrs. Jones? Have you written a prayer card to send to the family who lost a loved one? Begin each week by prayerfully considering those you need to care for - then reserve a block of time for member care. 
  5. Administrative Tasks - First Timothy 3:4 says, "He must manage…" Weekly communication, social media posts, calendar planning, budget review, staff reviews (if you oversee staff), and more all have their place in the ministry.  You are called to preside over the administrative tasks, not do all of the administrative tasks. Seek out faithful servants you can delegate certain administrative tasks to and then empower them to serve the body of Christ.
  6. Open Blocks (for emergencies or additional tasks) - Do you serve on an association committee? Do you have a theology book you want to read? Leave open blocks of time on your weekly calendar for tasks that are important, but not urgent. For more on open blocks, read this post: Time Blocking In Ministry.
  7. Communicate The Plan - Covered in prayer, the ideal weekly calendar is now ready to be shared with someone. Failure to communicate your weekly calendar is the number one source of frustration for pastors and time management. Ask yourself, “Who needs to know your schedule?” and then share your plan.

Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. (ESV)” The true ideal week is the one that is surrendered to God. Plan your ideal week in pencil and trust God with the eraser. 

How do you plan your weekly ministry calendar? Share in the comments below to help other ministry leaders.
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Three Leadership Questions with Karl Vaters

6/6/2021

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Hi, I’m Karl Vaters and I’m a small church pastor. I’ve spent over four decades in pastoral ministry, the last 28 at Cornerstone Christian Fellowship in Fountain Valley, California, where my wife Shelley and I served for 25 years as the lead pastor, and the last three years as the teaching pastor. I also write and speak about pastoral leadership from a small church perspective through books seminars and articles. I love hiking, especially through canyons and in high elevations. Every few years I go through extra training to do a one-day, rim-to-rim walk through Grand Canyon.

What is your motivation to remain productive in your area of leadership?
Since recognizing that my pastoral calling was to minister in a smaller congregation, I became aware of how few resources are targeted to the unique needs and strengths of small churches. So now I work hard to find, create and make small church resources available.
My motivation comes from recognizing that the Lord has placed me at a cross section of four important concepts 1. The massive number of small congregations in the world (about 90 percent of churches), 2. The amazing ministry small churches do, 3. The massive need for small church resources, and, 4. My decades of experience in this overlooked niche.

What productivity advice would you share with new leaders in leadership?
For many years I labored under the false (or at least limited) perception that the key to greater productivity was time management. In reality, managing my energy is far more important. When we concentrate on time management alone, we become hamsters on a wheel. We might get more done, but we can still burn out on a never-ending cycle of tasks. But when we concentrate on our outflow and input of energy we can start taking greater control of productivity in every area of life, spiritually, physically, emotionally, organizationally, you name it.
For example, putting an hour into a task while emotionally, physically or spiritually exhausted is not just unhealthy, it’s also far less productive than getting half an hour of rest, exercise, or prayer followed by half an hour of renewed, energized, and motivated work.

What are some tools or resources you would recommend to leaders that help you in your productivity?
There are several productivity tools and apps that help me a great deal. But, since they change regularly based on my needs and newer technology, my advice would be this:
Use whatever productivity apps and resources that help you. But regularly make an objective assessment of their true value. Are they actually helping you get the most out of your limited energy, or are they demanding even more from you? Don’t make the mistake of being controlled by your emails, your productivity app or your devices.

Where can leaders find you? 
Find me at KarlVaters.com, a website devoted to Helping Small Churches Thrive.
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Three Leadership Questions with Rigel and Jenna Drake-Garcia

5/30/2021

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How to Publish Your God-given Message While Marketing Your Ministry
By Rigel and Jenna Drake-Garcia, founders of MarketProfessionally.com

In a brief paragraph, share your background: area of ministry and how long you’ve served in ministry; include any hobbies you have that you intentionally make time for.

We help Christian influencers market their God-given message, so they can share it with new audiences, while helping them save time and utilize their resources more efficiently. Our self-publishing services help influencers turn their God-given message into a book, and our marketing services help them connect with people who want to hear more about their message and what they have to offer, or invite them as a speaker for a speaking engagement. 

Over the past 10 years, our calling to serve authors, speakers and ministry influencers in spreading their God-given messages is based on Isaiah 52:7:

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that brings good tidings, that publishes peace; that brings good tidings of good, that publishes salvation; that says unto Zion, Your God reigns!

It’s interesting that many of our clients have been serving in business or ministry for years now, whether it be teaching in Christian bible schools, ministering at their churches or serving in various leadership capacities, and are now finding themselves in a transitional period where they want to be an influencer in their niche, or they want to expand the reach of their God-given message and what they do beyond their current sphere of relationships.

One of the most valuable ways we serve people, is working with influencers one-on-one to draw out their God-given message, which helps them to discover how they serve and bring value to others at a deeper level. Our clients love this process as they begin to see the correlation of how their God-given message naturally lines up with the transformation they desire to see in the lives of others. 

We also help our authors learn more about their audience, and how to take a more reader-focused approach with their message. Oftentimes, when writing a book, our approach can be, “this is my message, and I know this is really going to help you. Now, let’s begin...” We get excited about the revelation we’ve been given, and then we start outlining our message. There is nothing wrong with that, but we want to encourage you to take a little bit more time in this planning stage, especially since we are writing a book. 

When you know what you want to write your book about, it’s time to take a slow step forward by asking yourself, what do the readers of my message really want right now? What is their challenge in this situation? Now, how can I help them get to where they want to go through this message? As we take a deep-dive into these questions, we find ourselves with more confidence and fervor when it comes to our message and those we are serving. It also makes the book writing process more organized, purposeful and enlightening. One Pastor shared, “I have outlined so many sermons throughout my life, but this brings things to a whole new level. I really appreciate this, and could not have done this by myself.”

Some of the hobbies Rigel and I intentionally make time for are going to the gym with our three children, fishing (Rigel), and worship (Jenna). We also love doing worship and music sessions at home as a family, which are quite fun. We also like to laugh and play around. Family is very important to us, and so is work-life balance.

Q1 - What is your motivation to remain productive in your area of ministry? 

Rigel: “To see the body of Christ achieve its full potential. There is a satisfaction inside of me when I know I am doing the will of God, and what He has called me to do. The only real way to leave a legacy behind is through the message of Jesus Christ, which God has given to us. This is the greatest gift He has given us to share with others during our time here on Earth. For those who have a specific message burning inside of them, we want to help them bring out that message because that is their spiritual legacy.”

John 4:34, KJV: "Jesus said unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work."

Jenna: “To see ourselves operating in our full potential as we do what God has called us to do, and to help people work together with others. I love seeing people shine in their gifts, while working well with others to accomplish a project—it is like a beautiful symphony to me. As we steward well what God has given us, we are able to see the beauty of what God can do, especially as we commit our work unto Him.”


Psalm 133, KJV: “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.”

Q2 - What productivity advice would you share with new leaders in ministry? 

1. Know your priorities, so that you can allocate your resources accordingly. 

2. Create systems that you and your team can leverage over time.
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3. Work with others, and focus on what you are good at, so that together you can make a greater impact. 

Your dream is bigger than you, and God will call others to labor alongside you. Remember, He will provide, so that you have abundance for every good work, and so that those who work for you will receive the provision they are believing for, as well.

Q3 - What are some tools or resources you would recommend to leaders in ministry that help you in your productivity?

For those who are looking to help spread their message in a more productive way, we have free trainings at both SelfPublishProfessionally.com and MarketProfessionally.com, and we are always developing more for people who want to speak, or develop their God-given messages. We also welcome you to schedule an appointment with us, if you would like to learn more. We would be happy to discuss how we can help you serve others with your message in a more impactful way, and to discuss the marketing resources and automation tools we have available to help you market your God-given message, while helping you save time and utilize your resources more efficiently. God bless you!
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Three Leadership Questions with Jason Lowe

5/23/2021

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Jason Lowe serves as Executive Pastor of First Baptist Church in Pikeville, Kentucky. He also serves as Assocational Mission Strategist for the Pike County Southern Baptists.
My name is Jason Lowe, and I’m a native of Pikeville, Kentucky. If you’ve never heard of Pikeville, I won’t be offended. Many people haven’t. It’s a small, but vibrant town nestled deep within the Appalachian Mountains of southeastern Kentucky. I was born and raised there. I was called to ministry there. After some time away at seminary and serving the Lord in other parts of the state, it’s where I have served as the Associational Mission Strategist for the Pike Association of Southern Baptists since 2013 and as the Executive Pastor at First Baptist Church in Pikeville since 2015. It’s an honor to be with you today and to share my answers to three leadership questions about productivity.

Q1: What is your motivation to remain productive in your area of ministry? 
Although we often don’t think of it as such, productivity is a biblical concept. God wants us to bear fruit for Him. In John 15:5, Jesus says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.” 

When I consider the type of fruit that Jesus is talking about, the fruit of the Spirit certainly comes to mind (Galatians 5:22-23). However, his final statement in this verse indicates that our activities are at least partly in view here. Apart from Christ, we cannot produce any fruit of eternal value. Yet in Christ, we can produce much fruit. With that thought in mind, my motivation to remain productive in my area of ministry is biblically grounded. My desire is to produce fruit that honors the Lord and serves others.


Q2: What productivity advice would you share with new leaders in ministry? 
Ministry is unpredictable, and ministry leaders don’t always clock in at 9:00AM and clock out at 5:00PM. Emergencies can happen at any moment. There will be times when your plan for the day is thrown out the window with no advance notice. That’s the reality of ministry. However, there are many “emergencies” that aren’t really emergencies. If you’re not careful, you will condition yourself to drop everything anytime a church member asks for a moment of your time. 

Therefore, I would encourage new ministry leaders to be intentional with your time by setting appropriate boundaries. When you are working on a sermon or spending time with the Lord in prayer, turn off your phone. Turn off notifications on any other devices that may distract you. If it’s a true emergency, someone will find a way to get in touch with you. 

I realize this may sound counterintuitive. As a spiritual shepherd, you should be available anytime one of your church members call on you for help, right? That sounds good, but that’s not the approach that Jesus took. 

In Mark 1, after a busy day of preaching and healing, Jesus rose very early the next morning and went out to a desolate place and prayed. In verses 36-37, we read, “And Simon and those who were with him searched for him, and they found him and said to him, ‘Everyone is looking for you.’” Most ministry leaders would likely drop whatever they were doing in that moment to respond and continue to minister to the people. But Jesus doesn’t do that. Instead, Jesus responds in v. 38, “Let us go on to the next towns, that I may preach there also, for that is why I came out.” Similarly, in Luke 5:15-16, Luke writes, “But now even more the report about him went abroad and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.”

What do these passages teach us? Jesus did not make Himself available at all times. He set appropriate boundaries. He was intentional with His time. Ministry leaders must do the same in order to maintain productivity. When it’s time to study, it’s time to study. When it’s time to pray, it’s time to pray. When it’s time for counseling, it’s time for counseling. Productive leaders don’t just have good intentions about how they hope to spend their time; they are intentional about it.

Q3: What are some tools or resources you would recommend to leaders in ministry that help you in your productivity?
I’ll share three recommendations. First, I would recommend the book What’s Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done by Matt Perman. It’s a biblical approach to productivity, and I find myself returning to its pages time and time again. The primary premise of the book is that the proper motivation of personal productivity is to serve others to the glory of God. The author spends a considerable amount of time fleshing this out in the first half of the book. The second half is full of practical tips for getting the right things done.


Second, I can’t stress enough the importance of having a system for collecting and sorting your tasks. I have heard this concept referred to as “having a second brain.” While our physical brains are prone to forget tasks and appointments, our second brain won’t forget. That’s why I recommend using some type of task management app such as Todoist or Apple Reminders that can sync across all of your devices and keep you on track.

Third, an app that I recently discovered is called Doodle. Whenever I try to schedule a meeting with more than two participants, it is often time-consuming and frustrating to find a time convenient for everyone when communicating availability back and forth through email. That’s why I love Doodle. Using this app, I can send an email to all participants with a link to multiple potential meeting dates and times that work with my schedule. Each invitee simply clicks a checkbox for which options work with their schedule. Once everyone has participated, I simply schedule the option that works best with everyone. It takes only a few minutes to setup in the app, but it spares me (and the rest of the invitees) a lot of time and headache with multiple emails. 

I pray that these tips have been helpful. If you’d like to check out more of my blog posts, head on over to JasonALowe.com. There you will find weekly posts intended to equip churches and encourage leaders. May the Lord bless you as you seek to serve Him and others!

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Three Leadership Questions with Tricia Sciortino

5/9/2021

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As part of the "3 Leadership Questions" posts, CEO of BELAY, Tricia Sciortino, shares with readers "How to Make the Most of Your 24 Hours".
 Working Smarter: Making The Most of Your 24 Hours
By Tricia Sciortino, CEO of BELAY


Fifteen years ago, I was the No. 1 District Manager at a large retail chain and for 12 years, my job had me traveling and working 80-hour weeks, including weekends and holidays. 

Then, a pivotal life moment: I had my first daughter. 

And I – like many other parents – found myself struggling to balance my demanding career with my new role as a mother. And after a year of trying desperately to juggle both – being as a present a parent I could be while leaving nearly everything I had on the road week in and week out, I had had enough. 

I walked in one day and gave notice, having no idea where I’d go and what I’d do next. All I did know, however, was that wasn’t it.

Three months later, after a move from New York to North Carolina where I knew no one and had absolutely no idea what I’d do, I met and started working as an assistant for someone for five years.

That someone – Bryan Miles – came to me in the midst of a tanking economy with a proposition: He was leaving his current organization to start his own business – what would become BELAY – and asked me to join him.

I should’ve said no. But my gut said yes, so I did, too.

From its first employee as a Virtual Assistant to now serving as its CEO, my ‘why’ for brazenly walking into that office and quitting my retail job those many years ago remains the same: my family. 

So regardless of the acronym alphabet soup that has sandwiched my name over the years – VA, VP, COO, CEO – I am fiercely committed to making the most of my working hours because when it’s time for my family, I won’t compromise.

And I achieve it with very intentional scheduling and time-blocking to maximize my productivity during my working hours.

Here’s how.

Scheduling & Time-Blocking: Making The Most Of 24 Hours 

So much to do, so little time. 

But really, maximizing productivity comes down to — in large part, anyway — strategizing your week by prioritizing their tasks to schedule time for meetings, activities, appointments, deep work, and administrative duties. It also includes blocking for fundamental items like project work, scheduled days off, family and friends, and even fitness or other health goals. 

Establishing your Ideal Work Week is an effective way to keep your priorities in line, increase productivity, and make your work easier because you'll be better equipped to anticipate what lies around the corner.

What This Looks Like In Application

If you're not familiar with the rock, pebbles, and sand jar analogy, the short version is that our time is like a jar, in which we must find room for all our rocks, representing the most important projects and things you have going on; the pebbles, representing the things in your life that matter, but that you could live without; and the sand, representing the remaining filler tasks.

My preference is to have three or fewer meetings every day. Knowing that, my virtual executive assistant will schedule my days and block time accordingly. 

Using the Ideal Work Week and time-blocking helps me …
  • Save time and increase efficiency 
  • Stay accountable to my priorities and time management goals
  • Establish a weekly rhythm by grouping similar types of meetings and tasks to increase my productivity and focus
  • Align certain tasks and meetings for when I am at my best and have the energy to complete them. For example, I’m sharpest in the morning, so I schedule my most important meetings or strategic work then.

It looks a little something like this … 
  • Determine your big rocks:
    • Meetings 
    • Appointments and Other Prior Engagements
    • Travel Time
    • Other Top Priorities, Like Family
 
  • Determine your pebbles:
    • Project Time
    • Administrative Duties
    • Strategizing
    • Meeting Prep
    • Paperwork
 
  • Determine your sand:
    • Email
    • Phone Calls
    • Social Media
    • Coffee With A Friend
    • Self-Care Activities
 
  • Establish recurring time-blocks:
    • Top Priorities
    • Prep Time
    • Recurring Blocks
    • Self-Care Blocks

Sow Today, Reap Tomorrow
I understand that as a leader, when you actually stop and think about all the things you do every day, all the things begin to add up – and quickly. I understand that, at least initially, trying to compartmentalize everything into tidy, neat blocks of time is overwhelming at best, and seemingly impossible at worst.

But you can do this. I balked. I pushed back. I still get my hand slapped by my VA when I slip into old, bad habits – though not as often as before.

So once you've created your ideal work week – and this is the tough part – you have to commit to it and live it. 
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You can only maximize your productivity at work and have time to cherish and capitalize on the other – arguably more important – parts of your life when you commit.

And for those of us who need the extra support – read: hand-slap – from an executive assistant to maximize our productivity, my book, Rise Up & Lead Well: How Leveraging An Assistant Will Change Your Life & Maximize Your Time, has got you covered.
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In it, I share everything I’ve learned – sitting on both sides of the desk – about how to work successfully with an assistant so you can, too.

To learn more about BELAY or Tricia Sciortino, click on the social media icons below.
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How Not To Lose Heart In Leadership

4/23/2021

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“Exhausted“ is the word many leaders are using in 2021. 

Exhausted from courageously leading others through a global pandemic. Exhausted from gently guiding their team during a divisive political season. Exhausted from carefully navigating the changing schedule of working remotely. 

When not properly dealt with, exhaustion can lead to overwhelming frustration and limited motivation. The result? Leaders are losing heart in leadership. 

So how can you deal with exhaustion so that you do not lose heart in your leadership? The answer is found within the words of Jesus in Luke 18:1. Jesus said, “And He told them a parable to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart.”

Within the parable, and the stories Luke describes in the remaining narrative of chapter 18, we learn three effective ways leaders can avoid losing heart in ministry. 
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  • First, concise prayers are all that’s needed. Within the first parable, a widow was pleading with a judge. She continually said in Luke 18:3, “Give me justice against my adversary.” That’s simple and to the point. There’s no lengthy petitions. Masterly words are forgotten. Vulnerable, she cried -  “Help!” This parable was given to teach a lesson: Be vulnerable when you pray, be concise, and don’t lose heart. 
  • Secondly, pray through God’s attributes. Luke 18 also describes a man who was blind. As the blind man was begging, Jesus walked along the way. The blind man cried out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” However, those in front of him told him to be quiet. Not losing heart, the blind man cried even louder, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Son of David is like crying out - King. Majesty. Ruler. Show mercy. 
    The time will come in your leadership that you will face losing heart. Exhausted, you can pray to God. By praying God’s attributes in the middle of your exhaustion, you will remind yourself who He is. He is all-powerful over your exhaustion; He is all-knowing in the midst of your weakness; He is everywhere, at all times, when you are looking for the next step. Praying God’s attributes will lead your heart to recognize the greatness of God in the middle of your exhaustion. 
  • Finally, pray for those you lead. The best way you can lead your team, exhausted or not, is to say their name to God when you pray. Lift up the names of their children or grandchildren. Ask God to strengthen their work ethic. Ask God to provide for their needs. As you pray for those you lead, losing heart will be replaced with a caring heart. 

Are you a leader facing exhaustion? Prayer is the key to not losing heart in the middle of exhaustion. May you rest in the all-knowing, all-present, all-powerful God and not lose heart. 
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Three Leadership Questions

4/22/2021

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3LQ? 

No, the dog didn't accidentally hit the keyboard as I was typing. 

"3LQ" stands for "Three Leadership Questions". 3LQ is designed for new or seasoned leaders who want to lead in a way that glorifies God, impacts His Kingdom, and reinforces the family unit. Each month you will hear from leaders who will share valuable insight into leadership - leading yourself and leading others. 

Starting May 2021, I will be presenting different leaders each month who will answer three questions on a variety of topics: Productivity, Leadership, Time Management, and more. 

You'll hear from Pastors, Ministry Leaders, Corporate CEO's, Marketing specialists, and more. 

Sign up below to be the first to receive updates when a new 3LQ is released. 

    3LQ Signup

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Funeral Service 101

3/13/2021

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​Preparing the finishing touches on your Sunday sermon, the notification on your smartphone alerts you. While you assume the message is from a friend, you casually glance at the text message that begins with the words, “Our dear mother has passed away.”

The finishing touches of your Sunday sermon now on hold, you immediately call the family member. You realize the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has invited you to shepherd this precious family through difficult days ahead. Prayer, Biblical counseling, and Christian resources dealing with grief are all important ways to shepherd a family who have suffered a loss. 

Yet another aspect of shepherding remains: Leading the funeral service. 

What should you do when you're called upon to shepherd a family during a funeral service? I have provided a ten step guide below to offer assistance to you the next time you’re called upon to lead a funeral service. 

  1. Pray - Immediately pray and ask God to lead you by His Spirit for His glory. 
  2. Review - Take a few moments and review the names of family members and the full name of the deceased. Forgetting names is easily done during a normal day at the office, but the pressure of leading a funeral service can cause a lapse in memory if you're not careful. As you review the names, pray over each name and ask God to comfort them during the time of loss. 
  3. Phone - Call a member of the family and offer your condolences. Ask if you can come and pray with the family and let them know your church is willing to help in any way possible. Examples of helping: Provide a meal or a gift card for a meal; meet at the church or their home for prayer; provide resources of songs to listen to when dealing with a loss; offer Bible verses to read/meditate on when dealing with a loss.
  4. Visit - Schedule a visit/call with the family to hear about the family if you do not know the individual. Ask questions about the faith of the deceased; ask about their hobbies; interests; work; etc. 
  5. Prepare - Prepare the order of service and communicate with the funeral director any special arrangements that will be needed. Special questions to ask the family: What are special Bible verses they would like to have read; What songs would they like to have played; Would they prefer to have time for the audience to share memories during the service; Is there a member of the family who would like to pray during the service?
  6. Military - If the individual was a member of the military, there will be a special military ceremony? If so, ask the Funeral Director if you need to assist with making those arrangements. 
  7. Organize - Once all of the arrangements are made, organize the order of service and provide a copy for the funeral director on the day of the service. 
  8. Review Again - One final time, review all names for correct pronunciation and review the full name of the deceased. Ensure you understand how to pronounce the names. Write down the name of the deceased throughout your sermon notes.  
  9. Be available - There’s no written rule about how long you should stay for visitation. Make plans to stay at least an hour, but use your best judgement. Be available before the service and following the service as well. Have your business card available and ensure members of the family receive your business card after the service. 
  10. Graveside - The Graveside service is generally quick. Lead the pallbearers to the burial site, stand at the head of the casket, and read a few select passages of Scripture. Psalm 23 is significantly comforting. After the Scripture reading, end the Graveside service by praying a committal prayer. Once the prayer has ended, walk past the immediate family, shake their hand and offer your condolences one final time. While the Graveside service may feel brief in length, in the end the timing will be sufficient and a blessing for the family. 

For a customizable funeral service template and a graveside service template to provide assistance to you as you lead others during a funeral service, provide your name and email address below. I will send free resources to your inbox that will assist you during your next funeral service.

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Ten Questions To Ask When Making A Pastoral Call To Church Members

2/10/2021

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A good shepherd will care for the sheep by spending time with the sheep. Jesus said in John 10:14 (ESV), “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me...” Our good shepherd is with us always and promised to never leave us. Yet pastors are called to “shepherd the flock of God (First Peter 5:2)” and part of that call is to spend time with God’s flock. 

Pastors who are called by God realize early on in ministry they are not omnipresent, but their love for God’s flock does not cease when they are unable to gather. So pastors pray. Pastors schedule time to lift up God’s flock by name to the Chief Shepherd.

The pastor will also set aside time to make a pastoral phone call to the member(s) who are unable to gather physically with the rest of the flock. While the phone call does not replace the physical presence of the pastor, the phone call can be spiritually edifying for the flock of God. 

Most often, once you begin with an opening question, the conversation will flow. However, should there be a lull in the conversation, here are ten straightforward questions that can open the door for purposeful conversation. 

  1. Family - “How is your family doing?” Do they have any living relatives? If so, ask about their family. Do they live close by? If not, do they speak with them often? Asking about relatives will demonstrate your pastoral care extends beyond a hollow exchange of pleasantries. 
  2. Visitation - “Have you had any visitors lately?” We are created for interaction, not isolation. Being aware of visits (social interaction) can help understand the state of their emotional well-being. 
  3. Hobbies - "What are some things you have been doing to pass the time?" Do they have any favorite books? Television shows? Discussing this question can open the doors for ministry. Can your ministry drop off a collection of books, word find puzzles, or DVDs? Listen intently with outreach as the target. 
  4. Local Congregation - "Has anyone from the church called?" The role of the pastor is to care for God's church (First Timothy 3:5), not to be the sole care of God's church. Are they hearing from members? Write thank you notes to those who are making calls. Equip those who are not caring for one another (Ephesians 4:12). God is honored and the church is unified when God's people care for one another. 
  5. Spiritual Care - "How are you doing spiritually?" Peter encouraged his readers in Second Peter 3:18, "Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." The call to spiritual growth continues even if God's people are unable to physically gather. By asking them to share about their spiritual condition can be the portal to how the pastor can best lead them on their spiritual journey.
  6. Congregation Prayer - "How can our church pray for you?" The church in Acts was glued to prayer and they often prayed for one another. Most people are encouraged when they know the congregation joins together and are committed to praying for them. Don't forget - ask for their permission to share the request with the congregation.
  7. Outreach - "Is there anything our church can do for you?" Look for ways to get others involved in their lives. Can someone pick up groceries for them? Do they need any home repairs? When the church loves one another God is glorified and your community will recognize those you lead are disciples of Christ (John 13:34-35). 
  8. Pastoral Prayer - "How can I pray for you?" Pastor, pray for those you are leading. Add their name and prayer needs to your personal calendar. Include in the description their request and any additional notes. Give assurance of the date and time you will personally pray for them. Shepherding God's flock is best done when you lift His flock up to the Chief Shepherd in prayer. 
  9. Pastoral Service - "Is there anything I can do for you today?" Is there an immediate need that you can assist with? For example, one time I asked this question and later found myself at the grocery store searching for denture cream. There was an immediate need that God allowed me to help meet by simply asking this question. 
  10. Immediate Prayer - "Can I pray with you before we hang up?" Ephesians 6:18 says, "...making supplication for all the saints." Prayers are comforting. Prayers are encouraging. Praying before you hang up provides you with the opportunity to immediately speak on their behalf to the Chief Shepherd. While the Chief Shepherd hears our prayers, the one you are praying for will also hear your prayer on their behalf. Knowing their pastor cares enough to call, genuinely listen, enthusiastically serve, and immediately pray will strengthen and encourage those you lead. 

What are some helpful questions you fall back on when you make pastoral calls to those whom God has called you to lead? Leave your comments below to serve other leaders in the ministry. 
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