Funeral Service 101

​Preparing the finishing touches on your Sunday sermon, the notification on your smartphone alerts you. While you assume the message is from a friend, you casually glance at the text message that begins with the words, “Our dear mother has passed away.”

The finishing touches of your Sunday sermon now on hold, you immediately call the family member. You realize the King of Kings and Lord of Lords has invited you to shepherd this precious family through difficult days ahead. Prayer, Biblical counseling, and Christian resources dealing with grief are all important ways to shepherd a family who have suffered a loss. 

Yet another aspect of shepherding remains: Leading the funeral service. 

What should you do when you're called upon to shepherd a family during a funeral service? I have provided a ten step guide below to offer assistance to you the next time you’re called upon to lead a funeral service. 

1. Pray - Immediately pray and ask God to lead you by His Spirit for His glory. 
2. Review - Take a few moments and review the names of family members and the full name of the deceased. Forgetting names is easily done during a normal day at the office, but the pressure of leading a funeral service can cause a lapse in memory if you're not careful. As you review the names, pray over each name and ask God to comfort them during the time of loss. 
3. Phone - Call a member of the family and offer your condolences. Ask if you can come and pray with the family and let them know your church is willing to help in any way possible. Examples of helping: Provide a meal or a gift card for a meal; meet at the church or their home for prayer; provide resources of songs to listen to when dealing with a loss; offer Bible verses to read/meditate on when dealing with a loss.
4. Visit - Schedule a visit/call with the family to hear about the family if you do not know the individual. Ask questions about the faith of the deceased; ask about their hobbies; interests; work; etc. 
5. Prepare - Prepare the order of service and communicate with the funeral director any special arrangements that will be needed. Special questions to ask the family: What are special Bible verses they would like to have read; What songs would they like to have played; Would they prefer to have time for the audience to share memories during the service; Is there a member of the family who would like to pray during the service?
6. Military - If the individual was a member of the military, there will be a special military ceremony? If so, ask the Funeral Director if you need to assist with making those arrangements. 
7. Organize - Once all of the arrangements are made, organize the order of service and provide a copy for the funeral director on the day of the service. 
8. Review Again - One final time, review all names for correct pronunciation and review the full name of the deceased. Ensure you understand how to pronounce the names. Write down the name of the deceased throughout your sermon notes.  
9. Be available - There’s no written rule about how long you should stay for visitation. Make plans to stay at least an hour, but use your best judgement. Be available before the service and following the service as well. Have your business card available and ensure members of the family receive your business card after the service. 
10. Graveside - The Graveside service is generally quick. Lead the pallbearers to the burial site, stand at the head of the casket, and read a few select passages of Scripture. Psalm 23 is significantly comforting. After the Scripture reading, end the Graveside service by praying a committal prayer. Once the prayer has ended, walk past the immediate family, shake their hand and offer your condolences one final time. While the Graveside service may feel brief in length, in the end the timing will be sufficient and a blessing for the family. 

For a customizable funeral service template and a graveside service template to provide assistance to you as you lead others during a funeral service, provide your name and email address below. I will send free resources to your inbox that will assist you during your next funeral service.